Wednesday, August 13, 2008

My friend is a trouble maker

So it has been a while since I (or any one for that matter) has posted, but last night I had a dream worth posting.

So my friend Ryan is kind of a trouble maker but what he did in my dream is kind of unimaginable. He was selling fireworks to kids down by the river and was not being discriminatory about who he was selling to. He decided it would be a good idea to sell fireworks to the stupid chick who was already covered in lighter fluid (or some flammable liquid). The girl set of a firework in her hand and her whole body set on fire. She immediately jumped into the river and died. Ryan was then arrested for selling illegal fireworks and for manslaughter (even though it was the stupid girl's fault). For some reason he couldn't get a real lawyer so I had to represent him. I don't remember for sure but I like to think that I was wearing big fancy lawyer suspenders during the trial.

The rest of the dream played out similar to any movie you have seen where a newbie lawyer defends some street-punk kid who was unjustly accused of a crime. There was a scene when Ryan was in prison and the prisoners revolted and Ryan saved one of the guards from being killed. This made the judge view my client as a good-hearted individual and eventually the trial went in our favor. Ryan was free but i think he ended up selling more fireworks to children anyway...

Friday, July 13, 2007

It seemed like a good idea at the time...

I had a dream that I was drinking somewhere and ended up driving home (which was a campground somewhere). I drove up next to a police officer, so I tried to act un-drunk around him. Then I realized I didn't have to act because I was actually sober. The cop said he would walk me back to my cabin since it was night time, and he started leading the way. We had to trek through what appeared to be a pond, but it was actually a swimming pool in the ground with lots of rocks in it. There were goldfish and other things swimming around - very similar to the Japanese gardens at Como Zoo. The water started to get deep, and the cop told me to stay close to him because he had a flashlight. Occasionally he would slam his flashlight down in the water and slap something. I asked what he was doing, and he said, "Scaring off the sharks." At this point, I realized we were actually in a zoo's shark tank and there were many sharks coming to the surface from below. They weren't Jaws-caliber sharks (like 20 feet long or anything), but each was 6-8 feet long, and they seemed angry. They were circling us, and I got really nervous. The cop told me that the sharks could smell my fear, and that we were better off before when I thought it was a goldfish pond. We made it to the other side and got out of the shark tank/pond safely, but I was pretty shaken. A friend came over and gave us a strange look. He said, "Why didn't you just walk around?" I gave the cop a mean look. It was his idea.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Barnyard prison

A couple of dreams from last night:

In the first one, Rob and I were house-sitting for his parents. It wasn't their real-life house though, it was a different one. People kept trying to break in, and we ended up chasing a guy down the street who tried to steal a set of keys. Then Rob's dad came home and was angry at how messy the place was. Apparently we had decided to hold a party and never cleaned up.

The next dream was extra weird. There was some scary people (one was a big guy in a suit) that were poisoning people by pricking them with one of those blood-type-tester things you can do at the State Fair. You know what I'm talking about - that little finger pricker thing. Some of the needles didn't have poison though - they had something that made you brainwashed. I was running from these people in a grocery store, but they caught me. They put me in a jail type place with some other people. It was actually the attic of an old barn. The floor was very thin and rotting through, and someone told me not to go on one side of the barn or I'd fall through. I also remember that it smelled bad because farm animals were living below.

Monday, May 28, 2007

The Personal Banker


I am not exactly sure where the dream started but my first recollection was that I was in a store that sold video games. For some reason I decided that I would put a large chunk of the money that I saved into the hands of a "personal banker". My personal banker was a shady man who looked exactly like the guy who hosts the show "Cheaters". I had to call him to come out to the store for me to buy this video game I wanted. First we went to a paint ball store because I guess I wanted to buy some stuff there and he kept asking my questions about how my previous purchases went, but I had not bought anything. He was just confusing me with someone else.

At some point I thought it would be a good idea to get his phone number seeing as how he was holding onto $6010 for me. I asked for his phone number and he gave it to me. I realized that I had forgotten his name and was really embarrassed, but then he asked what mine was so I did not feel that bad. I was glad that I didn't embarrass myself by asking him his name, but now I was really worried to learn that my personal banker didn't know my name. At some point my personal banker (who's name I learned is Tom) changed into a completely different person. Tom was now a tall slightly over weight sandy red haired man in his late twenties. I questioned him about where he lived and he said that he lived in Bent Creek (which i think is a golf course) with his wife. Then he said that his wife knew him by a different alias. I asked him why this was, and he told me that he thought it was better that way because then he could leave his old identity at any time and just start over without anyone trying to find him again. I told him that I was concerned about that statement because if he got up and left I would be out $6010. I don't remember what his response was to my statement but I remember I didn't like it.

At this point I was regretting my decision of having a personal banker and I just wanted to put my money back into my TCF account. I asked him if I could take out about $2000 to put back into my TCF account. Tom changed his form back to the guy who hosts "Cheaters" and now he sported an angry demeanor. He looked away from me at the floor and said something like "yea of course you can do that but why would you want to?" in an angry tone. I explained I just did and he insisted we just proceed to the video game store. Now we are at the store and Tom is in his red haired form. The store also happens to be in Tom's house in Bent Creek. I look around at the video games and there is nothing that interests me. I began to insist that we transfer some of my money to my other bank account. He said that if we wanted to do that we had to do it in a TCF bank by 5:00pm. I looked at my watch and it was 4:30pm. Suddenly we were back into some sort of shopping mall and I knew that there was a TCF bank on the bottom floor. We started heading towards the bank while Tom (who had changed to a form that differed from his previous two) was insisting that we don't do it and was pulling on my arm and using magical powers to try to stop me.

We arrive at the bank and I can see that they are just starting to close up. I approached the counter noticing that the tellers are two girls probably about 3 years younger than me looking annoyed and pissed at me for coming to the bank so late. I tell them that I want to transfer some money (Tom is now back into the form of the guy from "Cheaters"). They say okay, but they want to see my TCF check card. They add that it cannot be one of those "leather bound credit cards". I look through my wallet and find three TCF cards that look similar. One is obviously not right because the material is way to thin. I show them the other two and they tell me that it wont work for some reason. They say that they need a ten dollar deposit and they can't get it off the card. I tell them that that is fine, I will just use the cash machine on the other end of the store.

Time is ticking at this point because I have to get ten bucks before they bank closes. I walk up to the cash machine and see that it is extremely different from most cash machines. In the video screen a bizarre game of "The Legend of Zelda" is being played. There is thick plexiglass with holes cut into it about an inch and half over the buttons that I need to press to get money. I uncomfortably reach my fingers into the holes of the plexiglass in an attempt to get my $10. I push my card into the machine and I keep tapping a key until a red LED display gets to my desired dollar amount. I hit the button to get my money and pennies start spilling out of the machine. I freak out and press my hands against the machine plugging the slot where the pennies are flowing more rapidly and violently then Niagra Falls. This stops the machine from throwing out pennies. I look at the machine more carefully and realized that the penny multiplier is set to 1x1. I set it to 1x100 indicating that I want my ten dollars all in one dollar bills. In order to get my money I had to start playing the weird game of Zelda and I also had to glitch the game out in order for it to work.

At this point everything got hazy and I woke up.

*note: the picture above is the guy from "Cheaters"

- Backes

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Qeen live from Greece!

A very random and flashy dream: I remember sitting down somewhere outside and seeing a high school teacher that I have not seen for a little less than 2 years. He seemed like he wanted to talk to me but I was on my cell phone or something so he motioned with his arms like he would come back later but then he drove away on a golf cart and I didn't see him again. The next thing I remember I am in a colosseum-like structure eating fried food and listening to live music. I couldn't see very well but I am pretty sure that one of the bands was Queen. I saw my friend Katie and we went to the top of the colosseum to go talk to someone and then I woke up.

- Backes

Friday, May 25, 2007

Madison Knife Fight

I was in the city of Madison Wisconsin for whatever reason. I think I might have been on a road trip with my family or something. I remember looking at a lot of the buildings and thinking I had been there on Halloween. For whatever reason my family had pulled into a parking lot and we were getting into some argument with a strange man who looks like the afro-dude who hangs out over by the Kitty Kat Klub in Dinkytown. He had a gun and was yelling some stuff but then I convinced him to throw the gun away. Then he had his fists all pumped like he wanted to fight me and my sister was behind me and was all like "Bring it! He can take you!" I told her to stop pushing me or else i would loose the battle. Then the afro-man pulled out a knife and was swinging it at me and I was like "this is totally unfair" My sister tossed me a knife and I lunged at him but it bent backwards when it hit his leathery hobo skin. He cut my arm and I ran away and then woke up.

- Backes

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Don't ever trust girls

Last night I checked my bank accounts online before I went to bed. I fell asleep and dreamt that I was hanging out with my boss, Jill, and we were arguing about something bank related. I think it had to do with having online accounts or something. I do know that I was making a good point and discussing the possible "points of failure" in her system. The next thing I remember is that I was singing the Atmosphere song "Give Me" and Jill was impressed by my rapping. About this time, I noticed that two of my front teeth were loose and I worried that they might fall out.

In the next dream, I was hanging out with some friends and coworkers. Todd had a date with him, and she seemed nice. Suddenly he just turned mean for no reason. He started making fun of her and she started crying. I defended her, and then the rest of the group started to ridicule her as well. Todd said the only reason he was dating her was to get some action. That made her cry more. She said, "The only real friend I have is Kristi!" and then she stuck her tongue out at me and flipped me off. I said, "What the crap, girl!?? No wonder guys don't want to date you! Nobody likes a biatch!" She gave me a cold stare and informed the group that she was evil and would make us pay. Later, I came back to my house and she was there with a friend, digging through my kitchen. I said, "Hey, put down my food! I'm calling the cops!" They said they didn't break any laws. I said, "What about breaking and entering? Are you that stupid?!" I took out my cell phone and dialed 911 but the display said 899. The evil girl laughed an evil laugh. I realized she had changed the numbers on my cell phone.

Then my alarm went off and I woke up.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Back to High School

I don't remember for sure where the dream started but I was hanging out with one of my band directors from high school. For some reason he and my other director are common characters in my dreams. We went to go see some sort of movie and then a bunch of people, I think my sister was there, then we went to hang out at his house or something. He had this weird swingy rope thing that I think people would ride on. Thats about all I remember

- Backes

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Massive nights

I had several dreams last night, which I can recall in vivid detail. In the first one, I was with my friend Amanda at some desolate campground, and we were eating homemade bread that we had just learned how to make. We were concerned that the bread might make us sick, but we ate it anyway. Then I lost Amanda, and couldn't find her in the trees or fields.

That dream ended, and my sister and I were driving out to some far-out area to go hiking. We had one of my high school classmates, Matt, with me. We took off "hiking" which really mean walking along a road. My sister and I ended up at my parents house. We realized we'd lost Matt. I checked my cell phone and had an angry voicemail from him. He said he'd been waiting at the car for 6 hours. Oops.

That dream ended, and the next dream was sort of a mystery storyline. We were investigating some politician who owned a huge farm type place. He was all about human rights and environmentalism. We found out he had illegal immigrants working in really bad conditions. After we exposed the politician's problems, he kidnapped one of the illegal immigrants and took off. We discovered he had placed a bomb somewhere on the property, but we didn't know how to disable it. Later we had a scooby doo moment when we realized the farm had no electricity and ran entirely on solar power. For some reason, this helped us disable the bomb (which was also solar powered). Then we caught the politician and took him in.

Finally, I was playing a carnival game where you throw ping pong balls in a bucket. I ended up winning a kitten. He was gray and white.

I may have lost two friends in the wilderness, but I also managed to save the world and win a kitten. All in all, it was a pretty productive night.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Ugly carpet


I had a dream last night that my cousin Jon bought a duplex in the cities. He was renting out the basement apartment. I looked at it, and it was kind of dumpy, but huge! The carpet was this hideous green pattern (similar to the image on the right). It was also right across the street from the U. So I told him I would move in. He said rent would be $615. I thought that seemed reasonable.

Then my dad was there, and he wanted to convert one of the bedrooms into two bedrooms because it was very large. We were looking around the apartment, and there were some strange doors, sort of like farmhouse cellar doors, that opened to the yard outside. We knew we needed to get some locks for those doors before I could move in. Suddenly one of the cellar doors open, and the main detectives from Law & Order SVU came in. They were investigating a case, and they had a tic-tac-toe board. It was a clue. I decided to leave and let them do their job.

At this point, the house owner changed from my cousin to my coworker Melissa. We were talking excitedly about how we were going to decorate the place. I was afraid she might decide to move out on me since she is married and might want to live with her husband eventually (I know that sounds crazy....).

I woke up after I realized that I forgot to ask both Jon and Melissa if they allow cats in the rental unit.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Damn Miniature Donkeys Anyways

So there I was - at a birthday party for a friends kid. Only it wasn't their house and we were keeping it warm with a long torch that fits onto a propane tank.

Fast Forward.

Suddenly there is a commotion on the deck. I go out there and the neighbors mini donkey is kicking something (maybe another mini-donkeys) ass. Rage engulfs me. I look around for something to beat the mean mini d with - and locate a broom. I proceed to get it off the one thats not fighting and beat it pretty good.

In an instant, I am in the kitchen at the party and I am eating cake. All is well.

A knock pounds on the back door and its the mean mini d with another friend and this time they have the sticks and are going to beat me.

I don't want to go outside because I am super scared. Not just scared, super scared. Suddenly Darren (previously known as the hubby and from here on out to be known as Darren) appeared and said "Oh, you can take him - he is only a mini donkey."

Then I woke up. Once again I wondered how this could happen when I only drank 2 bud lights.

This is a rough sketch of what the evil donkey looked like (Also note scared goat in the background):

Saturday, March 03, 2007

The weirdness continues - Eddie Vedder and corn trucks

I had a dream that Rob and I had a kegger party. The cops showed up. I don't know what happened because then I was driving and the traffic on a highway was completely stopped. Each truck was a dump-truck style truck filled with corn on the cob. The corn on the cob was already shucked (is that the right word?) and the corns were huge, so only a few corns would fit in each truck. I thought the corn looked delicious. I asked Eddie Vedder (who was there, of course) to drive me closer to the corn truck so I could take some pictures. He said he didn't want to because he was tired. But finally he agreed, and I took some awesome corn truck pics. I noticed Eddie Vedder was naked except for a pair of boxer shorts, which I thought was weird and unnecessary.

I have no idea why my dreams have been extra weird lately. I blame the weather.

Friday, March 02, 2007

At least I voted.

I had a dream last night that there was a presidential election going on, but I hadn't paid attention so I didn't know a single candidate. This was a weird election though and didn't make a whole lot of sense. I was in a room with about 6 random people and there were about 10 game show type buttons on stands throughout the room. Each button had a candidate's name, and that is how you voted. Only one person could push each button. And you only had 15 seconds to complete your vote. Someone would say GO and then everyone would scramble to find their chosen candidate before time ran out or before someone else got him/her. They started the voting, and everyone ran to find their button. I didn't know who anyone was, so I was just hoping to god that I didn't look like an idiot by picking the Ross Perot of this election. Then I woke up.

I went back to sleep and dreamt that I was walking in some place in California. Every house was huge, tropical, and luxurious with multiple swimming pools. I was supposed to be there with my dad, but his plane hadn't landed yet. I walked around and found some people that I guess knew my dad, so I went in their house and drank a beer with them. They were pretty cool, and we talked. Then I left, but the sidewalks had snow on them. I kept slipping and almost falling into the swimming pools. I decided to stop and use a restroom somewhere, but it was a disgusting campground style rest room with the toilets that are set on a big hole in the ground. There's no plumbing, and you can't flush. It was gross so I left. I saw my dad and we went into an auditorium where we were supposed to see a band play. The band was still setting up, so they told me to go out front and get some cookies. I did.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Homeless and hopeful

I had a dream that Rob and I were homeless. We found a place in a parking lot to set up a tent when some people approached us. They were making a music video for the band Evanescence. They asked if we wanted to be in. We said sure, and they filmed us walking around the parking lot. Later, I saw the finished video and they had digitally altered the background so we were staggering around in a huge colliseum. Then they removed Rob completely, and I was the star of the video. Rob didn't seem to mind, but I didn't like it. I told my mom I was going to be in a music video, and she was concerned about who was taking care of my cat now that I'm homeless.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Always rinse the bowl

I was visiting a high school and decided to run for student body president. I had some friends take a picture of me wearing a duck mask for the campaign posters. Everyone thought it was really cool.
Then Rob and I were playing Legos. We had all kinds of pirate-related Legos, and we built a sea-side paradise for them to live in. We called it the Pirates Playhouse. We showed it to my dad, and he was impressed.

Suddenly I was looking through my parents' freezer for some ice cream. I don't even really like ice cream, but they had about 8 different kinds. A raspberry flavored one looked delicious, so I decided to partake. Sadly, I couldn't find a bowl. The cabinet was completely empty, and no one could tell me where the bowls were. My sister dumped out a bowl of onions and scooped me out some raspberry ice cream. I was mad at her for not cleaning out the bowl first. Reluctantly, I ate my onion-y ice cream in silence.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Long time reader, 1st time poster....

Hi. I am Steph and I just recently gained the ability to post on this finely run operation. I had a dream last night that was very strange, so I thought I would share.

My family was all living in my parents current house. Let me elaborate family. It was My dad, mom, Kristi, my husband and myself. As if that isn't weird enough.

Anyways, we are all moving into this new house. It turns out the new house is my grandma's current house, only it is completely gutted in the inside.

We have to pack and get ready, so I had all of my stuff ready to go. Kristi and I were looking thru these boxes in our closet in our old bedroom (pink walls, red carpet) and we see all these pictures of like us with out cousin Jackie and with our cousin Lisa. The weird thing is the pictures were in books like you get when you get your senior pictures done. We were like 3.

We decide to leave the pics behind and get into the new place.

I don't remember anything as far as packing up and actually moving there. The next thing I remember I am in the gutted out living room folding clothes and my friend Stef is there. She tells me to eat a muffin, so I do - and all of a sudden a cigarette pops out of it so I threw it on the ground.

Then all of a sudden I was looking for my husband so we could get some lunch. He was out planting a garden. I remember I was pissed. Not just pissed, SUPER pissed. I bitched him out for planting over my tulips and in general remember alot of screaming.

Then the alarm went off and I got up wondering why I would have such a dream after only drinking 2 bud lights.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I stole all John's dreams!

I switched over to the new version of Blogger, which required me to enter my gmail account. When I did this, it moved the site admin to my account, which in turn marked all of the Backes dreams as dreams written by me. Yikes! He made a new account for himself and is adding a note to the end of his dreams, which will hopefully remedy this and prevent our heads from exploding from the confusion.

Monday, February 12, 2007

No More Blue Cheese!

This dream took place in my current place of residence, Yudof Hall. In this dream for some reason much of the building was renovated. The biggest change was the elevators. One of the elevators was now the length of an entire hallway. I thought this was interesting because I had never seen an elevator as big as this one before. I don't think that the engineers who designed the new elevator were very good because as my friend Ryan and I were riding the elevator up to my room it stopped abruptly and then went crashing downward. We finally landed back on the first floor and the elevator made an elastic bouncing motion and tilted about 30 degrees on axis in the shaft. I was freaked out and jumped out of the elevator but my friend Ryan just started laughing and hit a button so he could ride it again.

I stepped into the lobby where for whatever reason one of my high school band teachers was working at the front desk and giving an announcement about new changes to Yudof hall. He said that a new resident had moved in and they were deathly allergic to blue cheese. He was holding large bags of moldy blue cheese and said that any one who had blue cheese on them or in their room had to get rid of it immediately. He then asked something to the affect of "Are there any other questions?". I thought it would be funny if I asked, "What kind of cheese do you recommend then!" Apparently this was not as clever of a response as I had thought because no one seemed to laugh except for me.

I started walking back to my room when I stopped to talk to one of my friends. She looked a lot different from when I had seen her last. Her hair was now more red and had kind of a dreadlock structure. One other change was she was now living with a very cute little girl. She said that "The girl is my daughter's daughter." This implied that the girl was her granddaughter I guess. This was quite puzzling to me especially because my friend is not even 21 yet. She then informed me that she had the ability to move forward through time. So i guess the little girl was her granddaughter from the future.

- Backes

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Creepy Forest Drive

Me and my family were driving down some highway in what seemed to be northern Minnesota. I guess we were trying to go to a cabin or a resort or something.... We turned off of the highway into the forest and started driving down a gravel path. We drove a ways into the forest until we got to a dead end sign blocking the road. My dad stared to back up the car and then all of a sudden a SUV pulled up behind us and stopped there. The road was only one lane so my dad pulled off the road in order to maneuver them. They started driving towards us but missed. As we passed them I noticed that the passenger and driver of the SUV appeared to be scary ghost like figures. We got all the way out of the forest and then it was day time. We were about to get back onto the highway when the SUV pulled up next to us. I looked at the driver and passenger again and they appeared to be an old couple. I waved at them and they turned on blue police lights on top of their car and drove off. At some point me and my family got split up and I called my mom to tell her to meet me at the ice cream place in some town that I was in.

- Backes

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Kevin was a jerk

I dreamt that Rob was trying to get a job on campus. He really wanted it, and Kevin (a guy who works in HRL with me) was in charge of the hiring. Kevin is a really nice guy, so I figured I'd put in a good word for Rob. I talked to Kevin about it, and he seemed cool. Later in the dream, Rob told me that he called Kevin, and Kevin acted like he had no idea who he was. Rob said, "I even got some Mitch Hedberg tickets!" I'm not sure what that meant, but I decided to talk to Kevin myself. I reminded him of our earlier conversation and the Mitch Hedberg tickets, but Kevin was in denial. He said, "Who is this guy!? Why is he calling me?!" I was angry. Then I woke up.